"Restless" Friends with (real) Benefits

Restlessweek9 Friends with (real) benefits
Ecclesiastes 4:4-12

Vrs 4-6 In this passage Solomon helps us to understand that your work ethic can actually determine the friendships you have in life

Four things that can kill a friendship…
Vrs 4 1. Envy Is your motivation to have more due to envy of friends or others?
This person’s motivation is to have what you have or better then you have and is never really happy for you when you get something you want.
Vrs 5 2. Laziness Are you lazy and it is your ruin?
This is the person that due to the fact they don’t want to work it causes them to mooch off everyone. Can’t count on them
Vrs 6 3. Greed Is your greed to have more making your life difficult?
This person compromises relationships with just about everyone because they are so caught up in the rat race.
Vrs 7-8 4. Workaholic Do you work too much?
This person says I spent my life working and I have no one to share it with, because I am always working.

When we get wrapped up in these things we don’t see the real benefits in having friends

What are the benefits of having friend?

We are going to look at what Solomon says about friendship and then rather then judging our friends we are going to take a friend test to see how good of a friend we are.

Q1 Do you have any friends?

Vrs 9 Help that bears fruit.

Q2 When your friend needs help are you willing to help?
Maybe you say I have my own things to do…

Vrs 10 Friends are there in the time of trouble, they commiserate with you.
~ Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." ~ CS Lewis

Q3 Do you run to a friend in trouble or run away? (sometimes this is tough because it means listening to them complain and be discouraged) Ruth is a good example of this
"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."

Q4 Do you allow people to help you solve your problems? This happens to me time and again… people say ”I have this problem…” and then anything I suggest they find a reason that will not work. The answer that I think in my head is “you are the problem”

Vrs 11 We find comfort in our friends

Q5 Do friends feel comforted by you?
You won’t gossip about them, judge them or look down on them. You will be compassionate, loving and forgiving. If people avoid you when they need comfort it is a red flag.

Vrs 12 A friend will fight for you

Q6 Have you fought to keep a friend?
This means you have went to great extremes for your friendship.
Jonathan is an example of this, went against his own father for David
1 Samuel 18-13


Maybe the answers to these questions hurt because you realize the reasons you have no close friendships is you are not that good of a friend.

There is some comfort…
There is a friend that can provided you with amazing friendship and teach you how to be a great friend to others. He is the friend that sticks closer then a brother.
Without the friendship of Jesus we will be Restless and never truly have fulfillment. GOSPEL Greater love John 15:13
.
Jesus will also help you be a better friend because when you think about how you treat and respond to your friends Jesus serves as an example.

Example of Jesus’ friendship Jesus is…

Friends can never live up to everything we expect but there again we look to Jesus’ example of friendship. After Jesus’ resurrection he didn’t say those losers scattered when I was arrested.

Maybe you feel that you did well on the test, you try your best with the help of Jesus to be a good friend but you still have no one that is close to you…

Let me offer some things to think about…
1. Maybe in this season God is working with you in some area that you don’t see right now.
2. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places. Community Groups
3. Maybe you are ignoring someone who really needs your friendship
4. Maybe you need to pray.